Mentors Listening: Restraint

The last part to creating that balance between listening, speaking, and restraint exposes four behavioral components that finish out the framework to help mentees have the strength to climb their own mountains.


Mentor’s Talking: When to Speak


Mentor’s Speaking: When to Listen, When to Speak, How to Restrain Oneself. Part 2 to creating that balance between listening, speaking, and restraint.

When it does come time to speak, there are 3 Rules of Engagement for the mentor, and 3 Levels of Engagement which the mentor can measure their response.

ROE: Boundaries, Facilitation, Time

LOE: Reflection, Word Limits, Determine A’s & B’s

Mentor’s Talking: Developing a Listening System


When to Listen, When to Speak, How to Restrain Oneself.

Creating a balance in there is what lets the mentor match the mentee.

To keep things better spoken, I broke this into three different casts—listen, speak, restraint. This week we focus specifically on listening to improve the process you have worked so hard to develop.


Why Great Leaders Let Others Make Decisions


Growth (individual, team, mission, & leader) anchors itself in 3 things: Depth, Diversity, Development.

  • Depth—Allows leader to function in other capacities and keep their eyes open for others situations and opportunities,
  • Diversity—the world may see things from another angle
  • Development—leadership continues to be passed forward

The best teams are made with leaders who take the time to let others make decisions. That’s freedom, trust, and strength.

Leadership During Change

Change itself isn’t the hard part. It’s how leaders allows the outcome to, well, come.

Leadership during change is less about their own doing. The leader’s role has to do with facilitating others, acknowledging their capacitable (new word!) presence, and allowing them to be alive.

Performance Flow Diagram

In both individual and team sports performance– just like any other area of performance– athletes bring a particular skillset or specialty to the table. The thing many people don’t realize is that it’s not about “high” performance everyday. As a matter of fact, those moments are very controlled in order to gain the most when it matters. Those matters create true performance flow. As a leader you have the same responsibility of creation for the members of your team. 


A Tool: Balance, Focus, Outcomes


Actual team outcomes are most powerful when there is alignment. Alignment doesn’t mean shoving people into what needs to be done. It’s about the people, the outcomes, the organization finding synonymy. Natural leaders manage and mentor this well—where they actually are, what is most natural for them, and how to find common ground with the mission.

The Best Way to Groom Leadership: Decisions


There’s the what’s best for them, and there’s the “best action” for the leader developer. Two very distinct parts to make growing others’ leadership effective. Yet both fall with the developer—how to let them make that bank of experience up front, and how to follow-up.

Your Teams Will Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability is going to always be present. Leaders develop teams with two specific strengths to allow them to proactively function in those vulnerabilities: High-risk focus, and self-selecting your vulnerabilities. Follow it with three action-oriented ways to maximize effectiveness in vulnerability for leaders and everyone else, and you operate like super heroes.



PC #14- Why We Give Advice: Extending


One of our longer episodes, I think the value compounds significantly as the subject progresses! 

Extending is a viewpoint that mentoring is not replication. The term embodies the nature of how the relationship works, not simply the visible actions (instruction, advice, look-outs) that make up mentoring. Simple for some, harder for others of us, it humbles us to avoid replication, whipping wide-open that 2-way street that is mentoring.